December 2009
62 posts
Wish you all a very happy new year!
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Two pyscologists
2 pshycologists met each other in a street one day.One said to the other, “You’re good today, how am I? Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Give Them a Shock
Why do psychiatrists give their patients shock treatment?To prepare them for the bill! Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Endearing names
An elderly gent was invited to an old friend’s home for dinner one evening.He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and clearly, they were still very much in love.While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his...
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Quality Engineer
A Quality Engineer married a difficult girl…After 2 years of tough life with her, the Engineer got angry and sent a note to his father-in-law stating that :“YOUR PRODUCT NOT MEETING MY REQUIREMENTS”. The father-in-law replied:“WARRANTY EXPIRED. MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE” Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Things to do on an elevator
When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you. Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Mission: Go to GAP, buy a pair of pants
Everywhere except GAP :-) Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Addicted to the internet!
You might be addicted to the internet when…. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Does Management know their Staff?
On walking into the factory, the MD noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.He approached the young man and calmly said to him, “How much do you earn?”The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, “I earn $ 2 000.00 a month, Sir. Why?”Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed...
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How to recruit the right person for the right job?...
Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed Room with an Open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.. Leave them alone and come backAfter 6 hours and then analyzeThe situation.If they are counting theBricks.Put them in the accountsDepartment. If they are recounting them..Put them in auditing .If they have messed up theWhole place with the bricks.Put them...
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Where is the time to study?
It Is No Fault Of Student Becoz A Year Has Only 365 Days. Days In A Year = 365Sundays = 52 DaysSundays Are Meant For Rest Days Left = 313 DaysSummer Vacations = 60 DaysWeather Is Very Hot, So It Is Difficult To Study Days Left = 253 Days8 Hours Of Daily Sleep = 122 DaysSleep Is Necessary Days Left = 1311 Hour Daily For Play = 15 DaysIts Good For Health Days Left = 116 Days2 Hours Daily For Food =...
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Stirring Prescription
Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill. Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Beer Bottle
Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?A: They’re both empty from the neck up. Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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FedEx Ad
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Snake Map
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What wife says!
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April Fool
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Drunkard in Trial
A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, “Order, order.”The drunkard immediately responded, “Thank you, your honor, I’ll have A scotch and soda.” Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Praying for a bike!
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me. Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Horror Movie
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Rotating Circles
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Three Blondes
Three blondes are celebrating their success in a pub. The bartender asks them: “Girls, what’s the reason for the celebration?” One of the blondes responds: “Well, we just finished this puzzle and it took us only a month, while the box indicated: 3 to 6 years!” Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Office Maths
Smart boss + smart employee = profitSmart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotionDumb boss + dumb employee = overtime Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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The extra block
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Jeep Parking
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iPhone or Droid
via xkcd.com Posted via web from jokulu | Comment »
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Idiot of the Year
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Half Empty Glass
“An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be” Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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"Beware of the young doctor and the old barber."
Short and funny quote by, Benjamin Franklin. Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
The Lemon Tree Song...
Lemon Tree by Fool’s Garden (3487 KB) Listen on posterous Gets u in the lighter mood. Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Funny Baby Dances To Beyonce Single Ladies!!
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Charlie bit my Finger!
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Classic Oxymoron
Question: What is the biggest oxymoron of the 1990’s?Answer: Microsoft Works! Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Everything's Amazing & Nobody's Happy! - Ramesh...
via rameshkoneru.posterous.com Hilarious take on Life! Posted via web from jokulu | Comment »
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Crazy Engineer!
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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at...
Pull the pin and throw it back. Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Everything Gone!
A man was complaining to a friend:“I had it all; money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!” “What happened?” asked the friend.“My wife found out…” Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Cost to Get Married?
The little boy asked his dad one evening, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”“I don’t know, son,” he said. “I’m still paying for it.” Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Criminal Mastermind
An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, “Have you ever been arrested?” he wrote, “No.” The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was “Why?”The applicant answered it anyway: “Never got caught.” Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Why do women live longer than men?
Q: Why do women live longer than men?A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does! Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell cause she’s got a grenade in her mouth! Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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How do you make a blonde laugh on a Saturday?
How do you make a blonde laugh on a Saturday?Tell her a joke on a Wednesday. Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Men are like computers...
Men are like computers: Hard to figure out and never have enough memory. Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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How many politicians does it take to change a...
How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again. Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?His lips are moving. Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
Meeting after a long time...
Two beggars meet after a long time.Two s/w engineers meet after a long time as well. Just imagine what question did they ask each other?Which platform are you working on? Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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why are you late for school today?
Teacher: Ramya and Shilpa, why are you late for school today?Shilpa: Ma’m, I lost a one rupee coin and was searching for it. Teacher: Ramya, what about you?Ramya: Ma’m, I was not able to move because I was hiding that coin under my feet. Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn’t do?Teacher: no, of course not. Sam: good, because i didn’t do my homework. Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
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Memory Patient
“Doctor! I have a problem, I can never remember what i just said.” “When did you first notice this problem?” “What problem?” Posted via email from jokulu | Comment »
Windows: Just another pane
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